Life Lurker

Sometimes I come here wanting to write something but can't figure out what to say.    I want to post something witty or interesting or thought provoking but I have no idea what any of those things would be.  So I go back to reading all the blogs I read and enjoying them without writing anything.  I sometimes feel like I have no life.  That my life doesn't really exist unless I can write about it.

I don't have a horrible childhood or extreme personal problems to overcome.  I don't have poor health or lack of food or shelter.  I live in a relatively safe place where I don't fear for my life or property, well most of the time anyway.  I have people around me who love me and will be there for me should I need them. 

I'm not trying to impress anyone or make myself more than I am.  It's like I'm just watching everyone else and doing nothing myself.  So then I think I'll do something and I begin but it doesn't last long and then I'm back to watchi…

Happy Mother's Day!

Happy Mother's Day to all the moms out there.  And if you aren't a mom then it's not your day.  If you adopted a child then you are a mom and it's your day.  If you lost your mom and this day is difficult for you because you miss her then celebrate your mom by remembering all the good times you had with her.  If you are a gay couple and have children and have or haven't given actual birth to your child/ren but still mother them then it's your day.  If you don't get along with your mom or she is a drug addict or has some other personality problem and you don't want to celebrate her being your mom then don't.  It's not really about anyone else but mom's today and if you are left out because you aren't a mom I'm pretty sure you have a birthday or can make up a day where you celebrate just being you.  I'm not sure why everyone has to get in on a holiday now.  When it's your day to be celebrated you will know and can put up your h…

Goodbye Sweet Cat

My daughter's asthmatic cat has passed away.  It happened a couple of months ago.  I could see him on the sidewalk outside our house on our security camera.  It looked like he had something like maybe a mouse or something, it's so hard to see details at night even with the night vision cameras.  Then he lay down on his side.  I thought this was strange because it was lighting raining and the sidewalk was wet so I got up to go see and he was just laying there on his side with his eyes open.  I picked him up and rushed him into the house and lay him on his blanket on the couch.  My mind was racing on what I should do to save him.  The vets would be closed because it was 8pm.  It would take them time to get to the clinic and if he was not breathing he didn't have time.  I knew there wasn't anything I could do for him so I felt for his heart to see if it was still beating and felt nothing.  I felt for his breathing but felt nothing.
My son had come down because I called fo…

Unwell and I've Had Enough

I haven't been out of the house in 7 days and am going stir crazy!  The husband managed to catch the flu working during a flu outbreak.  He was also taking prednisone at the time for gout.  Prednisone reduces your immunity so of course he's not aware of that and toddles off to work.  He's been sick for 10 days so far and I'm on day 7.  I actually thought I may be getting better but I can't shake this cough. 
I'm also having another troubling symptom that I'll probably need to see a Dr. about. the skin on my left side of my face is kind of numb.  It started feeling like there was a pimple there when I moved my face it hurt in a certain area.  Now the skin in numb to the touch.  It's probably just rosacea because I've noticed since I've been sick it's been flaring up.  So my face is extra red with little tiny pimples all over.  Yup it's a great look and one I try to cover very unsuccessfully with make-up which I'm horrible at applying …

Happy New Year, I Think

Our Christmas was uneventful, thank goodness.  We had Christmas supper at my sisters house and visited with family.  It was nice.  I was a bit disappointed because I couldn't think of any great gifts to get anyone but that's how it goes some years.

We did get a snowy Christmas so that was good too.  Unfortunately the temps dropped to below what we normally get so it was a bit nippy.  That cold is still lingering and I hope it warms up soon cause I'm tired of being cold in my house even wearing extra layers.

New Year's was me alone.  Everyone was home but the daughter had to work early New Year's Day and the husband had to get up early to drive her so they both went to bed early.  She can drive but the roads are pretty bad so we don't want an inexperienced driver driving plus we only have the one car so if she ditches it we don't have another car to drive.  The son stayed in his room and played video games like he usually does.  I couldn't find any video…

Still Here

Well I am still around, just not blogging much.  I can't believe it but things are pretty much the same as always.  I feel like I'm stuck in a black hole or something and nothing ever changes.  I just keep spinning my wheels and get no where.  I really have been feeling down lately.  I need a holiday, just a short break away from my life to get some perspective but I know that won't happen.  I haven't had a holiday in, well I don't even know how long, 10 years at least or probably even much more.

My dream holiday would be a cabin somewhere either on a beach or in the woods.  I don't even care if it was warm or cold out as long as I don't have to talk to anyone or do anything but enjoy the change of scenery.  I'd light a fire and snuggle up with a hot cup of tea and a good book.  I'd take long walks and take in the beauty where I was.

Instead I'm stuck here dealing with things I don't want to deal with, so much I don't want to deal with. …


I haven't had much energy to post here.  Yes Birdie I'm still alive although I'm not sure I'm well.  The world has pretty much got me down and then there are some family struggles that I'm dealing with too.  I don't want to post negative stuff all the time so I'm just not going to post until I have something positive to say and right now I'm a negative Nellie so I won't gripe and whine and hopefully it won't rub off on anyone else.  I'm not saying that no one should vent or say negative things it's just that I don't have the energy to post them right now and I don't want to.

So excuse my silence while I try to show this negative Nellie the door.