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Exhausted

I haven't had much energy to post here.  Yes Birdie I'm still alive although I'm not sure I'm well.  The world has pretty much got me down and then there are some family struggles that I'm dealing with too.  I don't want to post negative stuff all the time so I'm just not going to post until I have something positive to say and right now I'm a negative Nellie so I won't gripe and whine and hopefully it won't rub off on anyone else.  I'm not saying that no one should vent or say negative things it's just that I don't have the energy to post them right now and I don't want to.

So excuse my silence while I try to show this negative Nellie the door.

Trying My Best

This year I am trying to read more.  I used to read lots of books but not so much anymore.  I have a ton of books I must get to reading just so I can get them out of my house as they are starting to take over my living room shelves.  I just started this goal last month and so far have read four books. 

I read "Gone Feral" by Novella Carpenter.  It wasn't too bad but I've read one of her books already so I knew I'd like it.  It's about her quest to connect with her father.

The second one I read was "in a Dark, Dark Wood" by Ruth Ware.  It's a horror/ mystery book and wasn't too bad.  It jumped back and forth in time which always confuses me so not my fave writing style but was a clever story that had you guessing right till the end.

The third book was "The Witches of New York" by Ami McKay.  It was set in the early 1900's (I think, don't quote me on that) and didn't have the strongest story line but I liked it.  These tw…

Long Time No Posts

With all that we had gone through at Christmas I took a break from the blog.  Some posts are now private.  Life is still a bit of a struggle but it doesn't stop you from getting on with it.

Lets start with the weather, it's been wonderful.  Some days it's sunny and warm and others it's rainy and cool.  Pretty unsettled just like a normal spring.  Gardens are growing weeds like mad.  We haven't attempted to plant much this year.  We just don't have any money or energy for anything extra.

My computer is slowly dying, it's old and to be expected but frustrating none the less.  If I stop posting again it's most likely because my computer died entirely and posting on one of the kid's laptops is too much of a pain.  I hate trying to type on those laptops.  I guess I could plug in my keyboard but then it's getting to be too much bother just to post a boring update and let you all know nothing is new.

I had a list of things I was going to blog about but…

Mother's Day Good

I posted the last post before my kids made my day so much better.  Both were at work and hadn't given me anything so I thought that was pretty much they way it would be.  And to be clear I don't really care about bought gifts it's the thoughtful ones that I appreciate more, so spending a ton of money isn't necessary or wanted just a kind acknowledgement.   When I picked my son up he had bought a roast chicken for us to eat for supper so I didn't have to cook.  When the daughter got home from work she gave me a card and a Tim's gift card.  Later the daughter wanted to go get a McFlurry so I drove her and she bought me one too.

So even though some of my family were horrible my kids did save the day for me.  It's nice to have your kids show they love and appreciate you in any way.  I'm am so blessed to be a mom to two amazing young adults.

Happy Mother's Day

So here I sit on my own on Mother's Day.  Both kids are working and the husband too.  I did drive up to my mom's house to drop off her flowers (not cut flowers but a beautiful pot of flowers) and card.  My mistake was staying and having the life sucked out of me.  I should know better than to stick around too long with my younger sister and dad and mom.  My older sister and her daughter were outside planting the vegetable garden which they plant so they can eat the veggies.  My older sister has a huge yard but her partner won't let her plant a garden anymore so she has to use my parents garden now.

Anyway the level of rudeness and stupidity amazes me.  My dad doesn't understand language and is such a rude man that it's shocking.  When he can't understand something he just becomes a rude Ahole and yells.  Then there's my younger sister who thinks she's an expert on things she has little to no education on.  Did you know that white sugar is poison?  Um, o…

From 30 to 13 in a Day

The weather here has been hot.  In the 30'sC hot.  The daughter is begging for us to put the a/c in the window upstairs but we knew it wouldn't last long.  We had the hot temps for 3-4 days and then boom it's down to 13C.  Today it was 17C and raining.  I'm dreading the summer.  The long hot days and nights are oppressive and make me feel ill.  I end up not sleeping because it's so hot at night and by the time my body adjusts to the hot temps it's Fall and cooling down.  UG!

The daughter had a test hair style done for her Graduation/Prom.  We don't call grade 12 graduation Prom here but in the last few years everyone seems to be adopting the term from the US so not lots of people call the Graduation dinner/dance Prom.  Anyway the hairdresser my mom booked doesn't do "up hair styles"  So that was fine with the daughter because her hair is long and very thick.  Every hairdresser she has gone to has commented on how thick her hair is.  You can…

It Doesn't Help

You know those people who you tell your difficulties/worries to and they tell you to just forget about it and be happy.  Ya those people.  I have something to tell you.  Your advise doesn't help.  As a matter of fact it is like saying that whatever we feel is nothing and we are stupid for feeling that way.  You also assume that what we feel is so minor we can just leave it behind and be happy.  We wish that were true because if it were true we would not feel depressed or anxious anymore.  It's like telling a person with a broken leg to just walk it off and ignore it.  You wouldn't tell a physically challenged person that if they tried hard enough they could get out of their wheel chair and walk cause all they have to do is fake it to make it.

In fact for anyone with depression or anxiety issues we have probably tried to take your lame advise.  We have tried countless times to just forget about our problems and act like a normal person.  The problem is that when we are out…