Showing posts from January, 2008

I Like You, Just the Way You Are

I know that when something won't stop rolling around in my head that there's a reason for it. Maybe this is the way real writers get their inspiration for stories? I was chatting with some friends online and we got to talking about depression and medications. I was shocked to hear how many of my women friends were taking antidepressants. It seems that if a woman is unhappy there is some kind of chemical imbalance in her brain now and every reason to prescribe medication for that illness.

Is unhappiness really an illness? Why are so many women and specifically stay-at-home mom's so ill then? What is it about being a stay-at-home mom that drives women to be so horribly unhappy? Could it be the long hours and no pay? Could it be the mind-numbing boredom of daily chores and kids tv programs? Or possibly the no breaks or social interaction? I thought about all of these things for a very long time and they just didn't cut it. There was something more going on here…

Lists, Lists and More Lists!!

I've been feeling overwhelmed lately by all the things I have to get done so a list is the best way to keep track of all those things. Now the list kept growing so I decided to make it more manageable and I divided the list into subgroups. Well even the subgroups started to get too long. So I chucked the lists and just made one with the things I have to do in the next week. If it absolutely has to get done next week it's on the list.

As I read over this much shortened list I see that there isn't one thing on there that I am going to enjoy. Most of them are chores and stuff I have to do for one child or another. I know I haven't made my plan yet but the overall plan is to get my spark back so shouldn't there be something on that list that includes that?

At the very end of the long list of chores and obligations I wrote, "go out for dinner somewhere nice with someone you enjoy." And not only that but the evening must have a theme. The theme should dic…

It all Falls Apart

Okay so maybe the title is a bit of an exaggeration but when one of your kids wakes up puking on New Year's Day at 2 am things get out of proportion. That is so not how I wanted to start my New Year! But as a mom it's my job to clean up and cuddle any sick child that belongs to me. Now we start the sick wait to see if anyone else is going to get sick. I've caught a stomach virus for the last two years in a row after not having one for as long as I can remember. So I'm very apprehensive about this virus. I don't like being sick in a house with only 1 bathroom and 4 people living in it. It's just not easy plus we go through Lysol like mad!

So what have I done to find my spark so far? Ummm well I went shopping and bought a couple of novels to read. I bought some pasta for lunch and a 6/49 ticket (the jackpot is 36million so how could I not?). Now I know that this isn't the groundbreaking kind of stuff that I really need to do but it was all I could ma…

January 1, 2008

Well that's another year gone by. It always seems like I didn't accomplish anything at the end of a year. All those things I wanted to do like get to a healthy weight, clean up the house, get a good job, and a zillion other things, never get accomplished. Why do I want those things but not enough to get off my butt and get them done? Am I just plain lazy?

Should I just give up on these things? Maybe I did make some headway with some of them but not enough to satisfy my perfectionist self. I wonder if I continue to want these things and don't accomplish them will I always feel like a failure. What's it like to make plans and actually complete them?! Wow what a concept. Make a plan and carry it out. Maybe my failure is in not formulating a good enough plan? Yes, that must be it. I need better plans!

So the kids and I sat down and wrote about all the things that we could remember that happened in 2007. We wrote the highlights and any memories we wanted to save.…