Goodbye Sweet Cat

My daughter's asthmatic cat has passed away.  It happened a couple of months ago.  I could see him on the sidewalk outside our house on our security camera.  It looked like he had something like maybe a mouse or something, it's so hard to see details at night even with the night vision cameras.  Then he lay down on his side.  I thought this was strange because it was lighting raining and the sidewalk was wet so I got up to go see and he was just laying there on his side with his eyes open.  I picked him up and rushed him into the house and lay him on his blanket on the couch.  My mind was racing on what I should do to save him.  The vets would be closed because it was 8pm.  It would take them time to get to the clinic and if he was not breathing he didn't have time.  I knew there wasn't anything I could do for him so I felt for his heart to see if it was still beating and felt nothing.  I felt for his breathing but felt nothing.
My son had come down because I called for him to come help although I have no idea what help he could have been other than to get the cat carrier out of the garage so we could transport the cat to the vet.  It all happened so suddenly and the cat felt and looked so alive and I couldn't stop the tears even though my son (who is 22 now so not a child but you still want to act all strong for your kids no matter what their age is) was there.  We sat patting him and feeling for any sign of life which we couldn't feel.  I managed to get my tears under control and as my son was going to get something and I was standing up he just had to ask if I was okay which made me break down crying all over again.  Poor kid has probably never seen me cry before and a stupid cat has to do it for me. 
I think it was mostly the shock of him dying so suddenly that really upset me.  Last year when my 14 year old orange tabby girl died her health had been failing for awhile before she died plus she was old and it was a bit of a relief for me that she was out of discomfort.  But the daughter's cat was only 8 and his asthma had been well controlled on his medication.  He only had the occasional cough.  I don't think he died of asthma but his heart stopped for some reason. 
I wrapped the cat up and we put him in the garage.  It was cold out still so his body would be fine there until we could have him cremated.  Normally we'd take the body out in the woods somewhere and bury it but the ground was frozen so we paid the $100 to have him cremated.
I can't even remember the last time I haven't owned a cat.  It is a bit of a financial burden lifted as we don't have to buy cat food or litter now.  There is no stinky cat box in our house and we aren't tripping over his cat food bowls in our small kitchen.  No one has to make sure he eats his pill every morning.  We don't have a big cat scratch pole in our living room.  All those things I'm happy about but I miss having a cat or any pet.  I keep thinking I see him out of the corner of my eye.  I search the SPCA website for cats thinking I'll find one that makes me want another cat and I'll just have to bring him or her home but none of them call me.
I think I have reached the old age part of life where you don't have pets anymore because you can't be bothered with all that anymore.  I'm not sure what I'm more sad about, not having a cat, or not really wanting another one.  Why does life have to be so complicated?

Comments

My initial comment I left was regarding you and your husband having the flu. I thought I'd try again on this post and hope the cyber gods don't eat this one. When I read your last post it reminded me of something that happened years ago. I was 28 at the time and my husband was deployed overseas. He flew home when his mother passed away. A few days before he was due to go back, he broke out with what looked like chicken pox. I freaked out because I'd never had chicken pox. The incubation period is about 21 days and by that time he was gone and guess what? Yep! The kids and I came down with chicken pox and due to me being an adult I was really sick with them. The doc said it was the worst case he had ever seen. Anyway, I hope you and your husband are on the mend. Being sick at any age is a definitely not a fun experience.

Another trying experience is losing a beloved pet. They after all are a family member and as with any family member we mourn their passing. I've had pets my entire life. At the present time, I have 2 cats and 3 small dogs. As I get older, small dogs seem like a better fit for me because they don't require a litter box, etc. I have a large fenced backyard so it works out well for me and I have a groomer who comes to my house to do monthly grooming. Perhaps when you're ready for another pet, you might consider a lap dog. Shih Tzu's are wonderful and loved to be spoiled, held, brushed, etc. Anyway, my dogs are so entertaining, I couldn't imagine life without them. Since I have cats as well as dogs, they all have become "cogs" (cat-dogs). It's amusing to see how catlike the dogs have become and how the cats have become part of the dog pack.

I really do feel your pain. It isn't easy to have a void where there was once a loving companion. Give yourself time to heal and you'll know when you're ready to get another pet. If you decide against it, then you have all those wonderful memories of times past to keep with you always. Take care and once again thank you for the kind words you left on my blog. I bookmarked your blog so I'll be back (I couldn't find any "follow me" option here on your blog, so I bookmarked you.)

Mama Pea said…
Our pets aren't the same as our kids, but they sure do add a living presence to our homes and lives, don't they? I guess the only good thing about the passing of your daughter's cat (even at his young age) is that he didn't suffer with any more health issues than he did. Not much comfort when you're feeling the hole he left, but at least it seems he went easily. Don't get another cat until it feels like the "right" time. Nothing stays the same except change and almost any change takes a while to get used to. Sending my sympathies to you all on this loss. Remember and talk about the good memories.
Sparkless said…
Mildred it looks like your comment made it! I have a chicken pox sob story about when I was pregnant with my daughter and it was Christmas but I won't bore you with it here. The husband and I are both on the mend or maybe it's mended, well we are recovered from our horrible never ending flu. I grew up with dogs and cats and I've always found cats easier because you don't have to walk them and I make my kids clean the litter box. Right now I'm not getting another pet but if the right dog came up I wouldn't say no. Thanks for your kind words. I've added you to my blogger roll so I'll see your newest posts and get to be entertained by your wonderful stories.

Mama Pea, it is hard to be without a pet. It's sad and kind of liberating much like when your last child moves out of the house. I wouldn't know about that yet because none of my children have moved out yet but that is how I imagine it would feel. We aren't getting another pet as it isn't the right time and may never be, I just don't know yet. Thanks for your sympathies, those dang pets just take a small bit of our hearts when they pass away.
Birdie said…
Those furry beasts do have a way of making our lives so much better. It’s hard when they leave us. Sending you an extra hug.
Sparkless said…
Birdie, thanks so much. I really enjoy your pics of your kitty.

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