Oh, Please

Some days are almost too hard.  Do you find yourself at the end of a day begging for something good to happen so that you can concentrate on that instead of all the bad things you've had to manage?  Well, that's me today.

We have to go farther into debt to fix the fan on our car so we can defog and defrost the windows this winter.  The husband should have got this fixed this summer when he should have also got the a/c fixed but he didn't.  He figured it would be better to wait until just before Christmas and do it after he made his wife attempt to drive with fogged up windows.  I had no choice either, I had to drive the daughter to work and back.

The son had two job interviews last week.  The one woman told him he was the best candidate for the job she had.  She said several other positive things to him and then never phones him back.  His other job interview also never called him back.  So no job for him.

The husband's pay was very small this time.  I'm not sure how we are going to pay the bills and feed ourselves.  It's sad when you have to take out money on your credit card to pay for food.  I tried to sell off a few things but all three of the buyers didn't show up to pick up and pay for what they said they wanted.  Why do people do that?  Next time I'm going to ask for their phone number and name so I know who the A**holes are.    I'll repost the items and hope I have better luck.

And what would you think of this?  At the daughter's job her and another high school girl work alternating shifts.  One week the daughter works 2 days and the next is 3 days.  They alternate back and forth like that.  The daughter was hired about a month or so before this other girl.  On Thanksgiving, which was a Monday a day neither girl usually works the other girl, lets call her Bree, was asked to work.  We figured it was because the daughter had worked the 3 day shift that past weekend.  Then again this week the other girl was asked to work Wednesday which was the Remembrance Day holiday.  The daughter was not asked to work so this new girl got two extra days of work.  What would you think if this happened to you?  I'd be pissed off and ask why the new girl got all the extra shifts.  At least they could alternate between the girls or ask the senior girl if she wants the extra shift first.

No matter how many times I tell myself to be grateful for what we have or count my blessings it just doesn't help.  I can't feel blessed with a house that is so horrible or happy with life when there is a constant stream of crappy things always happening.  I would really really love to be able to see life through those rose coloured glasses but when I put them on all I see is blue.

All I would like is for my son to get a job and for the daughter's job to treat her fairly.  I'd like to be able to pay our bills and live in a house that has insulation and windows that don't let the wind howl through them.  We have single pane glass windows upstairs that have big gaps around them when you close them.  I've tried again and again to tell the husband that having someone put in some better windows would be well worth the money but for some reason the only thing he will spend any money on is music stuff for him to record songs.  It's not like he makes any money from this, it's just a hobby.  And we have two back doors that are old wood ones.  The inside one has a single pane glass window in it with a glass door knob and skeleton key lock.  The lock still works but anyone could break the window and get inside.  I've tried for years to get the husband to buy a better door.  It would be nice to not have the wind howling along the kitchen floor in the winter because that door doesn't have any insulation around the edges.  Oh, he did attempt to put some on but either bought the wrong kind or it didn't fit properly and he couldn't close the door after so had to take it off.

I just want something to go right.  I want to get up with hope in the morning and go to sleep with  a smile on my face instead of tear in my eyes.  I guess tonight it's the tears.

Comments

I feel bad for you, Sparkless. I hope things improve for you soon.
Birdie said…
When my son was looking for work he had so many employers say they would call him back and didn't. My son would call them or go by and do follow ups to be promised again that they would call. They never did. All that said, he is now working full time and had his own apartment.

Buying stuff for music is something that would put me over the edge. In fact, it did. My ex-husband often bought shit that he deemed necessary for his music. It was one of the many, many reasons why I divorced him. And if I ever spent money on anything, even clothes from the thrift store he would be all over it telling me I was spending too much money.
Sparkless said…
Thanks Debra, I hope things improve soon too.

Birdie, no point calling these people back because if they want to hire you they will phone you. That's fantastic that your son is working full time and has his own apartment! When did that happen? I'm glad to hear he's doing so well now. That gives me hope that my son will maybe get off his rear someday and find a job and possibly move out!
Birdie said…
I kept giving him extensions to find a job. This lasted 10 months with him working 10 hours a week, maybe 20. The only rule he had was to work a minimum of 35 hours a week. About 6 weeks before he turned 19 I told him that if he did not meet the expectations of 35 hours a week by the end of February, the month he turned 19, he would have to find somewhere else to live. He left on his on accord on the 21st, I think it was. He moved to Victoria and did not speak to me for a few months but I held my ground. He ended up getting a job, full time (!) and getting his own apartment. It was the hardest thing I have ever done as a parent. He seems happy and is doing well. :-)

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