Spring Blues

I must be the only person who gets spring blues.  I always feel depressed in the spring.  There is so much I want to get done and it's depressing to realize I'll never even get a small portion of it done.  If I have enough energy we don't have the money to buy whatever we need to fix the yard or house.  If we have some money I don't have the energy to work on projects.

I think spring is just a big old wind up for disappointment.  At least that's how I feel about spring.  There is just too much to do and I just can't make a dent in any of it.  The house stays a mess and nothing gets cleaned like I want it to.  The yard never looks good anymore because the gardens are full of grass and the husband thinks that taking the weed whacker and running it over the grass in the gardens is a good way to weed.  All the plants that used to grow every year are now killed and the gardens are a wasteland.  The rose bushes are no good and the only thing that still grows with any enthusiast are the two lavender bushes.  They both actually need a good pruning because they are taking over.

The backyard is a disaster because it's just dirt now and where the sod was put back you have to be very careful because there are deep holes under the sod and you can trip in them.  The husband thinks this is okay.  I had hopes of inviting family over for a barbeque this spring but that can't happen now.

Today I just wanted to lay down and quit.  I truly feel sparkless, like the spark of life had totally gone out.  I can't think of anything that would bring it back other than winning the lottery or having a fairy godmother come and give me the energy I had when I was in my 20's back.  Neither of those two things are going to happen so I'm trying to figure out something that would be fun.

We were supposed to go to our nieces wedding in Sask. and I was excited because it was so close to our 25th wedding anniversary that I thought we could make a trip of it and have some fun.  The husband made sure that didn't happen for pretty much no good reason.  He says it was because we can't afford it but I'm calling BS on that one.  We could have managed it but he didn't want to go so came up with a lame excuse and now his family blames me!  The husband won't tell his family the truth so I have to put up with snide comments from his mom about it.  I told the husband that if he doesn't set her straight I will tell her the truth.  The husband told them he couldn't get the time off work to go which is a lie because he is off work for a week starting tomorrow. 

I did buy myself a nice necklace for my anniversary because I knew the husband wouldn't get me anything.  It's a silver pendant handcrafted using the impression of a wax seal from the 1820's.  It has a tiny oak tree on it and some French that says "Mieux vaut rompre que plier".  It comes from Aesop's Fable of the Oak and the Reed.  It means "Bend, Don't Break".  I am wearing it everyday and holding it in my hand when I need a reminder and boy do I need reminders often lately.

I saw two racoons last night and one of the neighbours cats was trailing along after them like he was curious about them.  I hope he didn't get attacked.  Stupid cats are so curious and we all know what that gets them. I haven't seen the bear lately so hopefully he's off in the bush somewhere finding food and not hanging our here getting into garbage.

I'm off to bed to see if I can sleep. Have a great week.

Comments

Birdie said…
Oh, Spark. I know these feelings.
I have some questions.

Have you had a full bloodwork makeup done?

Do you take Vitamin D and if so how much?

Do you take Vitamin B and Fish Oils?

Have you had a sleep test done in the last 5 years?

I am actually feeling a little better after making seemingly small changes.

I take 1000iu Vitamin D daily. It is *very* important in this part of the world where (even in the summer) we don't get enough sunlight.

I now take a fish oil. It is NOT the 3-6-9. It is just the 3.

I also take a Vitamin B complex 100mg.

I also am trying to get my Basal Body Temperature up. Do you have a digital thermometer? Try taking your temp every morning for a week. Do it before you even get out of bed. Move as little as possible. If the average is below 97.4 consider taking Kelp.
Ask me if you want to know more about this.

I am also now taking hormones but it has not been long enough to know if they are going to make a difference.

Can you see a Naturopath? Even if you do not have extended medical it may be worth the money to get yourself feeling better. It would probably cost about $150.00. Maybe instead of a trip to Saskatchewan this could be a gift to yourself.

xo
Sparkless said…
Birdie, I do take vitamin D and Fish oil supplements. I'd have to go to Kelowna to do a sleep test and we can't afford that. The CPap machine is way too costly for us and even renting it was too much as the tubes alone cost $100 a month. So not really any point if you can't afford the cure.
I've seen a Naturopath quite a few yeas ago and she did some type of a weird food sensitivity test where I held this tube in my hand. She said I was sensitive to pretty much every thing, wheat, spelt, eggs, tomatoes, wine, milk, beans and a bunch of other things I can't remember. I took them all out of my diet for 5 weeks and had no improvement.
I'll do the thermometer thing and see if I'm low. The Dr never finds anything wrong with me so I'm wondering if it's all not just in my head.
Birdie said…
It is NOT in your head. I thought that about myself for a long time.
Yes, CPAP machines are ridiculously expensive! I was only able to get mine after I started receiving extended health benefits from my employer. Let me know about your Basal Body Temp. I just took mine this morning after being on Kelp for 2 months and it was 97.7. (The average was 97.2 before) It is never that high! It needs to be closer to 98.6 so the body can do what it is supposed to do besides trying to bring the BBT up.

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