Now the Other One is Kicking Off

Like we don't have enough problems with the son and his weirdness the daughter decides it's her turn for a meltdown.  At least in her defense she has monthly hormones that make her miserable.

The story goes.  Daughter wants to go to the school's formal dance.  Fine says I and we get her a dress, really pretty too.  I ask about tickets and find they are on sale now for $10.  I ask if she has enough money and she doesn't so I give her some.  I figure it's all set and I'm happy for her until....
she says "I don't know why I'm even going.  I don't have fun at dances."  Arg!

This is true, she hasn't gone to a dance in a couple of years, every since grade 8.  Fine you don't like dances but why did you want to go to this one?  She doesn't know.  She says she feels so stressed out.  I ask her if it's her hormones maybe and she agrees that it probably is.  I tell her to just hang on for a couple of days and she'll feel better.  High school is a difficult time for most kids I tell her.

Stupid hormones!!  I think I liked it better when the kids were small and I could just cuddle their hurt away and kiss their chubby cheeks till they giggled.  It was so much easier then.  Now their problems aren't ones I can really help them with other than to acknowledge life is sometimes not easy and if they hang in there things will get better.  Or to just listen and nod.

I remember high school as being both exhilarating and harrowing .  I seemed to lurch from one emotion to the other suddenly and unpredictably which made me feel a bit like a drunken sailor.  Life could be fantastic one minute and then totally horrible the next.  I'm not sure how much of this was hormones or just growing up in general, all I know is it was difficult and unpleasant a lot of the time.  And add to that the social thing with friends and boys and you have a tinderbox of feelings ready to explode at the slightest provocation.  But it's just one of those things in life you have to go through.  I don't think it's easy for anyone, at least not anyone I've ever talked to.

I've told her this, not that I think it will make her feel better but sometimes understanding things can lead to coping because you know it's normal.  Knowing your feelings are normal is half the battle when you are a teen.  You aren't alone, you aren't weird and look at all those totally normal adults who got through their teen years.  They felt the same way you do when they were  teens.

I don't think it helped though because she sighed and went to her room.  I know you moms who have already raised teens are nodding your heads cause you've been through it and you want to tell me you just have to hang on and wait cause it gets better, right?  Please tell me this is the case cause I'm hanging onto that belief right now like it's a life raft. 


Mama Pea said…
I would never want to go through my teenage years again OR go through my daughter's teenage years again! I guess it's something we all have to work through . . . and hopefully come out the other end a happier, more well adjusted person. It's a rough time.

I hope your daughter realizes how much you care which shows by your willingness talk with her about what she's going through. Not everyone grew up having a mom who took the time to do that.
Sparkless said…
Aw thanks Mama Pea. I just wish there were something I could do to help her get through it all but it's just one of those things you have to work out on your own.
Leigh said…
Great post. One that strikes a cord with all of us who have, or who have raised teenagers. Eventually everybody comes out the other side! I agree the hardest part is not feeling like we can truly help. Some things just have to be experienced and being a teen, hormones and all, is part of that. I think you're doing an excellent job!
Sparkless said…
Thanks Leigh. It breaks my heart to see my kids struggle so and not be able to help. I guess I am helping by just being there and listening but it sure is hard.

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