I'm Still Here

I know you are all waiting to hear about my heart problem. Well it turns out to be something I can't even pronounce let alone spell.  Apparently my heart doesn't like to keep a steady beat.  I have some medication that I'll need to keep taking and right now I'm wearing a heart monitor so they can monitor it over an extended length of time.

The Dr. said it was mild and to not worry about it because I wouldn't drop dead anytime soon but it also wasn't something I should just ignore.  So we continue to monitor and take my medication to see if it gets better.

 This could be one of the reasons I've been feeling so tired lately.  Now if I could just fix the husband and my heart I'd be good to go. 

We went to my family's Thanksgiving dinner tonight.  The husband decided that it would be a perfect time to act like a jerk to me the entire time.  On the way home I asked him what he thinks my parents think about his behavior.  Then I gave the example of what if our daughter brought her husband to a family dinner and her husband treated her like a piece of crap the entire night.  What would you think of this guy?  No one wants to see their child treated like crap no matter how old they are.

This is the man who I helped through his alcoholism and mental problems.  This is the man who I accepted back into my life more than once because he said he had made a mistake and it wouldn't happen again.  Ya, I know.  Never believe a man.  Once he shows you who he is don't think he's somebody else no matter how much you'd like to believe his lies. 

I'm too old and tired for this anymore.  I'm worried about my health, I'm worried about my kids and now I have to start to think about where I can get a job so I can support myself.  That will mean moving away from my family and all the help they give me.  But right now I'm not sure I have any options left.  Fifty is turning into the worst year of my life.


Mama Pea said…
Sending hugs and hopes things take a turn for the better for you before the year is out.
Sorry to hear that things are rough for you at the moment. I hope the heart medication helps and that your husband smartens up.

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