Not Again!

I'm getting tired of all these negative posts but lately that's what's been going on so that's what I have to blog about.  Right now I am dealing with a 16 year old son who is failing math.  Not because he's not capable of doing it but because he's too lazy to go get a bit of help.  And he isn't handing in any of his work and lied to me about it.  I'm more mad about the lying than the bad math mark.

What does he think will happen when we find out he hasn't handed in his homework and has 5 assignments to hand in or fail math?  I keep telling him that he will have to take the exact same class again next Sept so why not just pass it this year?  I don't understand what the problem is.  It seems like every year he picks a class to suck at and pretty much won't do any work at all in it.  Last year it was French and he got a C- in it.  Lucky for him he didn't have to hand many assignments in.

This kid won't even take his learners drivers license, look for a job or pretty much get out of the house at all.  He says he's too shy and has no self esteem.  Ya, these kids know all the lingo and when to use it so they get out of doing any work.  What I see is a kid who is so lazy it's frustrating.  If something isn't easy he doesn't want anything to do with it.

I wish I could ship him off to military school or something.  He needs a reality check and of course he won't listen to me.  Looks like we are going to have to borrow more money to send this kid to some kind of therapy.  His father had serious mental health issues when he was a teen and I don't want that to happen to the son.  The husband dropped out of school in grade 10 and ended up in the psych ward several times after that and was on medication for his mental health issue.  Ends up he was just an alcoholic and once he stopped drinking his mental health issue went away and he didn't need any medication.

If the son finds alcohol he just might do the same thing his dad did and self medicate his shyness and sensitivity away leading to other new problems.  That would be my biggest fear that he starts to self medicate himself with drugs or booze because he's shy.  What he needs to do is do exactly what he fears the most and when he does that and realizes that he can do anything, well that's how you build self esteem.  Do you think he'll listen to me though?  Nope.  Instead we'll have to go further into debt to have this stubborn teen figure out life.  I'm frustrated and angry but he is worth any effort or cost to help and I'll do anything to get him the help.

He's a great kid but those teen years can be brutal and sensitive kids can have a difficult time.  High school can make or break a kid.  I'm glad I made it through intact cause I wouldn't go back to high school for anything.  All that teen angst, UG!

I will be working for the next week making sure he gets all his math assignments complete and handed in.  It's going to be a fun fest.  NOT!  It's going to be a test of wills and even though he's taller than me now I'm smarter and older than he is.  If he can scrape through math this year he can get a tutor next year and he won't get to this point. 

Wish me luck and send calming thoughts my way, I'm going to need them.

Comments

Mama Pea said…
Wish I could offer a magic solution to you, but I can't. I do think being a teen is harder than it's ever been, but that's no excuse for him not to put forth his best effort at what he needs to do at this stage of his life. Nor will it help him in any way in his adult life. He's lucky to have a mom that cares. Hang in there.
Erin said…
Sparkless, I'm sorry to hear you are having such difficult times, don't feel like it's all negative, because I can always feel your hope that things will change or get better when you write. You wouldn't bother to write or even think about these things if you didn't care. That is troubling about the drivers license because that's the one thing that will usually get a lazy teen up off his butt. Does he know about dad's history? I figure one of two things - he could either use it as an excuse, or if he doesn't know, then hearing about it from dad himself might make him realize that he's walking a slippery slope and let him know what to watch out for. It's tough when smart kids act otherwise. I'm praying for you and that you are able to find some solutions somehow. Someday it will be my turn to navigate these troubled teenage waters :)
Sparkless said…
Mama Pea, yes where is that magical solution? I guess what doesn't kill us makes us stronger or my cynical. LOL!

Erin, you won't have anything to worry about with your two boys who are already showing their work ethics and amazing intellect. I have told the son how lucky he is to have parents who are always there for him and want him to succeed in life. He doesn't believe us yet but I'm sure when he's an adult he'll thank us.

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