Maybe or Maybe Not

I think the son has a girlfriend.  It's so hard to tell because this is a girl who has been hanging out with the boys for a few years now.  I've asked a million times if they were together and he's always said no.  But the last week or so something has changed.  When the son talks about people at school he says it's him and this girl. 

They even went to the fair together tonight.  We live really close to the high school and quite often the son brings his friends home after school to hang out.  Now that the weather is nicer I don't mind cause I can sit outside and let them have the living room all to their selves.  Today he brought home his girlfriend.  They just stopped by before they went off to the fair and they stayed down there for supper. It's all within walking distance of our house so no rides were needed and the son has a cell phone.

I don't really know much about this girl.  I hope she doesn't break his heart or give girls a bad name.  Those first few relationships are always so tender.  The son is such a sensitive kid and he's very private.  Getting info out of him is like trying to squeeze water from a stone.  He will tell you stuff when he's good and ready.

Now since the son is 16 I've asked the husband to make sure he has a little talk to him about proper behavior.  Like respecting himself and any girls he's with kind of thing.  I was kind of hoping the husband would give him a box of condoms for the future.  I'd rather he had a condom when he's going to have sex with someone than not and get a disease or a pregnancy.  The condoms are not for use anytime soon just if and when he needs one.  I know teens are having sex and I'm not going to close my eyes to it and pretend it isn't happening.  I'll encourage waiting but give him condoms just in case he doesn't listen to me (like what kid does listen to his or her parents?  Only a small few, unfortunately).

I'm pretty sure knowing how awkward the son is he won't be using them anytime soon.  He could be getting his learners license to drive but won't write the test.  We can't figure out what he's afraid of.  We've also been trying to get him to get out and get a part time job.  We made him to go a local pizza place within walking distance to our house to get an application.  It sits and hasn't been filled out for 3 weeks now. 

I thought kids wanted to grow up and do stuff.  I know I did.  I had babysitting jobs and then a job when I was 15.  I got my drivers license as soon as I possibly could.  I loved having my own money and I loved being able to drive a car even if I didn't get to do it as often as I wanted because I had to borrow my parents car.  I've heard from a few other parents that their kids are the same so I'm stumped to why kids are so unmotivated now.

At least I know where he is all the time.  He can usually be found either in his room or in front of a video game.  We only give him limited video game time now because when we leave him to his own devises he'll play video games all day long.

At least we know it's nothing we've done as parents because the daughter is the total opposite.  She wants to get out there and do stuff.  She'd get a job if she wasn't only 14.  We don't know anyone with young kids she could babysit and I'm not sure how good she'd be at that because she doesn't have any younger brothers or sisters or really been around younger kids much.  She has looked after a friends dog and cat when they go away a few times and will probably do that again this summer.  I've encouraged her to think about volunteering. 

Anyway I don't have any pictures to post, sorry.  I'm trying to figure out what's wrong with the camera or computer but so far no luck.  I'll have to call in the big guns soon. 

My house is a disaster zone.  I really need to get decluttering and cleaning but so far I haven't even made a dent.  I get one area cleaned out but have no where to put the stuff I just packed away.  Lots of things we can't really get rid of.  Our house is really just too small and I used to be good at keeping on top of everything and getting rid of stuff but after the kids I just lost all hope.  The lack of sleep and small house made everything more trouble than it was worth.  I never got my mojo back.  I'm hoping that I can get rid of a whole bunch of stuff in a garage sale soon.  If we make any money we'll use that for a family day trip.  I'm just kind of dreading doing a garage sale because it's so much work for so little money and I'm always the one who gets stuck doing all the work.   I really need a holiday! 


Mama Pea said…
Sounds as if your son is just a little unsure of himself and lacks the confidence to put himself "out there." They say boys mature a lot slower than girls so maybe that's the difference you see between your son and daughter. In this day and age, I think I'd be thankful he's happy to still spend a lot of time at home! He could be running with the wrong crowd and/or doing things out of your control. No thanks to that scenario!
Erin said…
I dread the day my sons start having girlfriends, not because they are growing up, but like you, I know all the other relationship issues that go along with that and it's hard to see our kids get hurt. Definitely have your hubby have that talk, parents opinions and guidance are so important, even when kids don't let on that they appreciate it! You can also have that talk, it's good to have a female perspective, women are a total mystery to boys that age (and beyond LOL) so he might really appreciate it. Good luck!

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