The Bad Stuff

Life has been getting me down lately.  The woman who I consider my second mother because we grew up across the street from her and were best friends with her children was diagnosed with cancer.  Her son had recently just finished his second cancer treatment and so far that seems to have worked.  We won't know about my second mom until after her chemo and operation in March. 

Then we find out my MIL is having difficulty of some sort and her Dr is sending her to an oncologist.  She has been having pain in her shoulder and thought the Dr. they were sending her to was a heart Dr.  So the husband and I are waiting until after her appointment to find out what is going on with her.

Like that isn't bad enough the husband comes home tonight and says he had another dizzy spell today at work.  He's been having them for a year or so and figured they were some kind of inner ear thing.  Turns out he had a coworker take his blood pressure (he works at the hospital) and it was high, way too high.  He sat down for a bit and then took it again and it had gone down but I think he should have got himself over to the ER or his own Dr. to make sure about it.  From what I've read if you are having any symptoms and your blood pressure is high you pretty much need to do something right away not wait. 

Of course it's Friday and he didn't phone his Dr. for an appointment or do anything.  There are no clinics open on weekends here so he'll have to wait for Monday to make an appointment and then it will be a few days to get him in to see the Dr.  This will all be while his blood pressure is possibly dangerously high.

He did have a check up about a year ago and everything was fine but he has been tired lately and has put on a bit of weight around his belly.  It's really not like him to be so tired as he's a pretty energetic, can't sit still kind of person.  I've been telling him to go see his Dr. but just like a man he'd rather drop dead and leave his family without a person bringing in enough money to support them. 

So now not only am I worried for my second mom and MIL but I'm worried about my husband.  I know blood pressure can be controlled and it's not a huge deal but he's such a stubborn man that he doesn't always do what he's told to do.  I am contemplating what we would do if something happened to him.  The kids and I would be in trouble.  We do have life insurance but that doesn't last forever.   I have a useless University Degree.  It looks like I'll be checking out courses for next fall because I need to get some training to get a good job.  I can't rely on my husband to take proper care of himself so I need to make sure the kids and I will be okay if he can't work.

I think my blood pressure just went up thinking about all this.  I am worried, terrified really.  I am worried about losing my loved ones mostly and secondly about the future of my family.  So if I'm not commenting or writing posts know that I'm reading and sending good thoughts, I'm just not up to posting or commenting right now.


Erin said…
So much to deal with, I'm sorry to hear about all this. Not to scare you, but as a person who has dealt with HBP, there's one really big thing to watch for until he gets this under control. Certain people have VERY high blood pressure upon waking in the morning (most have LOW in the a.m.) and if they get up too quickly can cause a spike that can bring on a fatal event. Especially if he is the type to get dizzy, when he wakes up, have him sit awake for a minute or so before he actually gets out of bed. If you get a home blood pressure gauge you can determine if he is one of the small percentage at risk by taking blood pressure when he wakes up, but while he is still lying down. If it doesn't spike, he most likely is not one of those people. Just watch for this until he can get it checked and under control, other than that biggie, I hope he pays attention throughout the day to how he feels and gets in to the dr. asap. Keep us updated and get him in, we don't want to see you under any unnecessary stress from this!
Mama Pea said…
You are being hit with a lot of bad stuff at once. (Seems to come that way, doesn't it?)

Males are traditionally difficult (stoopid?) when it comes to dealing with medical issues. He needs to get checked out, but then I would strongly suggest he/you try to find the CAUSE of the high blood pressure rather than just taking medication for it. Something is not functioning correctly in his body and it can be made right again. The body wants to be healthy, but we sometimes tax it unnecessarily.

It's hard to maintain any kind of normalcy when under a lot of stress, but perhaps you can use us (writing about it here on your blog) as your stress relievers! We're here for you and our fee is very reasonable!
Sparkless said…
Erin thanks so much for your help. I've convinced him to see his Dr. and discuss his health problems. He said he'd call Monday for an appointment. We are looking into getting a home bp monitor so he can keep an eye on his bp. I know that the Dr usually like to have you monitor your bp at different times of day for a month or so to see what it's doing. He isn't getting dizzy in the morning when getting up or after sitting. It just seems to come on out of the blue. Could be an inner ear problem too. Anyway so many thoughts but I'll try to stop speculating and just wait to hear what the Dr says.

Mama Pea, I will make sure to have the Dr look into what is causing the dizziness and high bp. What's the point of taking medication if you don't know what the cause is? If he can manage with diet and exercise and other things then that would be better than meds.

I just feel very hopeless because so many people I love are suffering illness right now. I didn't talk about my older sister who is suffering from frozen shoulder too. She's very stoic but we can tell she hasn't had a good night rest for a very long time. At least it's not something that won't heal on it's own and isn't serious but it's hard to watch your loved ones suffer.

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