I Feel Like a Flat Tire

And I wish it were because I'd lost weight and was deflating but that's not it at all.  I feel all empty and floppy.  My brain doesn't work well either.  I totally blanked on my bank card number today and that has never happened before.  I actually had to get the card out to see the number.
The sound I make is like the flap of soft rubber on cement, fwap, fwap, fwap.  Or maybe that's more like a fish out of water?  I don't know but I don't like it.  It's not the weather either.  I don't blame things on the weather... well maybe if it's really hot I get cranky but that's not weather that's heat.  See I don't even make sense anymore.
It started with my not getting anything done.  I made a to do list.  The list stayed the same for several days.  That made me depressed to look at so I threw it away.  The things on my list are still waiting to get done.  I get up each day ready and prepared to do these things but somehow or other the day gets away from me and here I am at the end of the day and they didn't get done again.
I've never thought of myself as a procrastinator before.  When there is something to get done I used to just get on with it so I could enjoy my time after it was done.  I hate that feeling of having something looming over you.  That feeling that you can't really relax cause you have something to get done.  No matter how hard you try to ignore that thing it's always there even if you throw away your to do list.
Today I blame my husband.  He was home and of course was in the way all day.  When I needed to use the computer he was hogging it.  When I needed to use the kitchen table he had stuff spread all over it.  Then the kids came home from school and since they get tomorrow off school they brought friends with them.  I ended up sitting in the garage reading a book.  I would have sat outside but there are these little bugs that have just hatched and are flying around out there in masses.  They don't sting or bite but they get stuck in your hair on your clothes and fly down your throat.  They look like a kind of fruit fly with a light blue fuzzy butt.  So I got one of the only chairs the husband left outside and sat in the garage next to the garbage can and the lawnmower.
The cat joined me and a giant spider too.  The giant spider caught the cat's attention because it had made it's web in the window.  I tried to take a picture of the giant spider but I couldn't get it to do the spider justice.  Then I noticed another spider in the shot.  Looked a bit like a Black Widow but the mark was on it's back and not it's belly.  If it was a Black Widow spider it would have been squished as fast as I could squish it.
As I sat in the garage that is really a carport with that green plastic stuff on the sides and a door on one end I thought how the garage would make a good place to be.  If we put some proper siding, insulation, electricity and a proper roof on it.  It could actually be like a basement which we don't have.  It could be a room the kids take their friends to hang out in or whatever.
I suggested this to the husband but got a very lukewarm response from him.  I guess he didn't really care that the son had several friends over and there wasn't enough room for them all in his bedroom.  This meant they were all in our very small living room.  This means there isn't anywhere for me to go and thus why I ended up sitting in the nasty garage trying to read away from the bugs that were trying to fly in my eyes and up my nose.  I mean you tell me what would you do?  Sure I could sit in the living room with four teenage boys but they don't want me there and quite frankly I don't want to be there.  What is that I hear?  fwap, Fwap, FWAP!!!  Yup I'm flopping around again.
Please excuse me while I try to find a tire pump to increase the air pressure and stop all this dang fwapping around.  (fwap? phwap?  fwapping?  sp?)

Comments

Mama Pea said…
You probably didn't mean your post to come out funny, but I got a kick out of it. I think we all feel the same way now and then but I would have never been able to put it into words the way you so aptly did. I'm envisioning you feeling better after having gotten your feelings out. Or are you still fwapping along? (I've got to remember that . . . fwapping . . . yup, I fwap sometimes, too. You can sign me up as a fellow fwapper. :o])
Sparkless said…
Mama Pea I did mean to be funny. While I sat in the garage beside the garbage can and lawnmower I knew my life had become a comedy.
I'm attempting to have a fwap free day but it's already noon and not a thing has been accomplished.
Erin said…
I'm glad I'm not alone, I've been feeling awful lately, more than just the lack of blogging really. I've been finding myself laying on the couch after getting the kids off to school, sometimes until 9 am I have to admit, it's awful! Normal for me is go go from 6 am til late at night but I can't seem to get the energy to do a darn thing lately. Maybe the blog is what makes me accountable to always have something going and with no computer I have turned into a sloth LOL!
Sparkless said…
Erin I'm hoping it's the change of the weather that has us all feeling so sluggish. As soon as we get used to it we'll be back to normal.
I'm a bit worried that I've forgotten what normal is.
Sparkless said…
Oops did I just blame the weather? LOL!
Zev said…
An addition to your house is no small project, but worth it if you have the time to do it yourself. Just remember it's more space to heat, light, and keep clean, too.
Sparkless said…
Zev we'd have to get all sorts of permits to convert our garage and it's unlikely since it's a detached garage the city would give us the permit to do it. I did a bit if looking into the permits and the lady told me that so I've given up on the garage for now.

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