War of the Roses

Men have to be the dumbest creatures on the planet.  I have two of them in my home and sometimes I feel like I have two mentally challenged people I have to deal with daily.  The son doesn't seem to understand that playing video games all day is a bad thing.  I've had a calm chat with him about why and how he needs to step up and limit his own playing time or I will have to.  Do you think he even managed a small effort?  Nope.  So when the whining ensued after I told him his time was up I about lost it!

He has all his games taken away and I'm not sure I'll be giving them back.  This kid won't even go out with his friends.  He sits in his room or on our computer for hours and hours if you let him.  So it's time to be a parent and put a stop to it.  One would think since this boy has two parents, a mom and a dad, that both parents would work together on this.  One would be wrong in this assumption as the other man in the house only wants to be a friend to his kids and not a dad.  I'm sick and tired of being the bad guy parent.

The husband was outside for hours today making something.  I went out to find our what the heck he was doing because he said he went out there to weed eat.  I found him making the most pitiful looking towel rack ever.  Not only is it made of wood but I have no idea how he figured he was going to put his thing up on the wall.  The old plaster lath walls in the bathroom don't hold a screw no matter what type of anchor you attempt to use to hold them.  Not to mention this bathroom has no ventilation and we all shower.  Wood goes black as did the other wooden towel rack he bought and put up.  He insists that I bought the thing but I know I didn't.  I would never buy a wood towel rack for that bathroom.

So now the husband is all whiny because I won't let him attempt to punch more holes in the crumbling walls of the moldy bathroom to hang another towel rack up.  The old one fell down and he couldn't figure out all he needed to do was tighten a screw in the bottom to get it to stay up.  He threw it out saying it was broken but I'd already looked at it and knew what I needed to do to hang it back up the problem was that I couldn't find the right size screw driver to tighten the tiny screw.  This was due to his using my tool box and making it such a mess that I can't find anything in it. 

This leads me to the other problem.  The husband doesn't take care of his things.  We have gone through more rakes and shovels than any normal person.  He breaks stuff and lets it rust instead of taking some simple steps to make sure it lasts.  This drives me nuts cause we don't have money to waste but he wrecks so many things that we are always having to replace something or other due to his neglect.

Now I could step up and do everything.  Yup, I could be superwoman and take care of every little detail in the house.  But that would not be a fair or equitable division of labor in our marriage.  When things aren't fair I'm not happy.  I can deal with things swinging back and forth but when it's constantly one way or the other I get mad.

I know there must be some good men out there, men with brains who are able to learn and grow but I've seen very few of them.  What is it about men that makes them such stubborn creatures?  Why do they think they are always right even when it's obvious they aren't?  Isn't it time we women stepped up and started making these men responsible for their bad behavior?  I'm sick of hearing women complain about how they do all the work and their family does nothing.  Well get a brain women and know that you can't be a doormat unless you lay down on the step and allow people to tromp on you.

So with that thought in mind I am now going to have to use psychological warfare.  Yes, it's a war.  It's a war to keep my sanity in the face of insanity.  It's a war to teach a fool that learning something new doesn't make you a fool but not learning it does.

The first thing in a war is you have to identify your opponent.  Mine is the husband.  He needs to be schooled.  I am much smarter than he is and I have a degree in psychology so I'm just the person to do it.

The next step is to make a plan.  My plan is to smack him on the head with a board until he gives in.  LOL!  Just kidding although it's not a bad plan just an illegal one.  I have read  a few books on how to get people to do what you want them to.  It's not manipulation it's smart management tactics.  So I'm treating my husband like an employee.  We've been married so long it's going to be difficult to change his behavior although I have done miracles with him in the past.  He cooks and cleans now so I rest my case.

My plan will involve lots of being nice to him even when I want to smash him in the face.  There is nothing better to get people to do what you want them to than being nice to them.  All I need to do is to smile and make a few compliments.  I'm wondering now why I've never experienced this "being nice to" from the husband.  He's pretty much a lump of coal when it comes to showing emotions or love.  Maybe he's the one who needs to read the books.  I think the name of the book is "How to Win Friends and Influence People".  I'll have to look it up but I remember it being one of those books everyone should read.  I'll have to figure a way to get him to read the book.

Anyway the first part of my plan is smiles and flattery.  It works especially well for men because they actually believe they deserve it.  I'll let you know how the plan progresses in my 'War of the Roses'.


Erin said…
OOOOOHHHHHHH! Sparkless, you needed this rant, didn't you?! I'm giggling WITH you, not at you - even though I have a "good one", he has his moments LOL, but I'm thinking of my ex reading this! Girlfriend, you need an outlet, I wish I lived closer, since my hubs is always at work you could run over to my place when you got fed up and we could destroy some fabric trying to sew or just watch man-hater movies and drink wine! I seriously wish you well with your new tactics, sometimes I too forget that we can catch more flies with honey, right?!
Sparkless said…
Yes, you can catch more flies with honey than vinegar and so far I can tell you it's working just like I planned.
Mark 1 for me 0 for the husband. LOL!

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