The Older I Get the More I Cry

Why is that?  When I was younger there wasn't much that brought me to tears but now I find myself tearing up at everything.  Could it be that life experiences make one more emotional? 

I found myself sobbing today at my keyboard after reading about a young man who was growing up.  Not a particularly sad story just one about a young man who was growing up.  I couldn't help but think about my 15 year old son and how it's going to feel when he leaves home.  Then I got thinking about him when he was a baby and I just started to sob. 

I'm not one of those mom's who want to hang onto her kids and keep them little, I actually love to see them grow up.  I'm excited for them to learn and grow and their firsts are just about as exciting for me as they are for them.  But there are some days when I'm caught off guard.  It's those times that I'm not sure why I'm crying.  I'm not sad, I'm not upset I just cry.  It's all those emotions of love, pride and hope that comes out as tears. 

Besides crying when sad some people cry when they are angry or afraid, I cry when I'm overcome with emotions. And it seems that as I get older I'm filled with more emotions than ever.  Pretty soon I'll be sobbing when the mail gets delivered or I let the cat outside.   I feel like a blubbering wreck cause it's always when I'm least expecting it that it comes on like just reading a simple little story or watching a commercial or tv program.  And sometimes if I'm not careful it's just after my 6'2" son kisses me good night and I watch his still boyish frame walk away.  I can't believe he came from me and his dad and used to fit on my lap.  I can't believe how much I love him and want all the best for him.  I can't believe thinking about him can bring me to tears so easily.  Who would have thought having kids would turn me into a blubbering mess!

Comments

Erin said…
Hmmm, I think maybe it's just the "time of life" you are in LOL? Hormones can do very strange things, I've been there! I can't believe I've had my oldest for 8 years now... where did the time go?!
Mama Pea said…
I think you're dealing with a bit of bona fide depression right now. Seems like you've got some stuff that's making you unhappy without any solutions in the offing. That's a really tough place to be in. Being depressed is nothing to be ashamed of. Many of us have been there and know what it's like. Hormones could be playing a big part, too. Getting your feelings out here on your blog probably helps. Be creative and try to figure a way to get help over this hump. None of us needs or wants to spend days feelin' crummy. Hugs.
Sparkless said…
Could be hormones but I don't think it's depression. I think the more life experiences you have the deeper your emotional life is. So you know what stuff means and feels like and can empathise with things more. But then I could be totally off my rocker too. LOL!
Mama Pea said…
If you're totally off your rocker, I'm right there with you! Just a few minutes ago, tears welled up and came very close to spilling over because of the DUMBEST thing. Too embarrassing to even admit. I guess we females are just emotional creatures. :o) Or totally of our rockers.

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