Some Good News Please

Do you ever yearn for good news about anything to turn things around when stuff sucks?  Well that's my day today.  I could really use any bit of good news cause everything else is sucking so badly I can barely hang on.  The husband is doing what he usually does which is being a total idiot.  Enough said on him.  Money, well we don't have enough for food, my back hurts every morning and our house is pretty much falling down around us.  Plus the board I'm on is not doing well at all.  There is 10 people on the board at this time and seven of them are leaving at the end of June.  We can't have a board with only three people on it.  Parents just don't get it or care that without the volunteer board the club can't run for the kids.  It's frustrating and I'm ready to dump the whole thing and run for the hills.

I'm tired, bone tired.  So tired I could lay down and never get up.  I'm worried about so many things and I have no way to fix any of them.  I used to think I could do what I wanted to and make changes when I needed or wanted too. I felt I was the driver of my life and it would only take effort and energy to get what I wanted.   Life has taught me a very cruel lesson.  I don't get to choose much of anything anymore and most of the things I have to put up with are things I'd rather not.  I could list all these things and how they affect everyone in our house in a negative way but I can already hear people telling me to "choose to want what you have" and "relax and enjoy what you can."  These are all very good points but they are really pointless in many ways.  If you don't have enough money and you live in a crumbling house that could become unsafe or unfit at any time you really don't have the luxury of choosing to want what you have.

It's only the people with enough who can make those choices.  The rest of us don't choose to be hungry or wear clothing out of date and with holes in it or never get a hair cut or have a holiday or pretty much do anything that an average person can do.  I don't choose to have a crap job that pays almost nothing or a house that is way too small for four people to live in.  I don't choose to live this life!  I am forced into it by poverty.

I just saw on the news that the BC Provincial gov't is going to shove the HST on us which means more costs on items that were previously untaxed.  They say this tax will save money but I've never seen much of a savings that is passed on from the retail sector to their customers.  They just keep the money as more profit and the people are out of pocket even more.  Then there is the sad statistic that 1 in 5 people in BC have trouble keeping a roof over their heads.  Could that be because wages aren't going up but every thing else is?  

Get an education I hear you yelling.  Well I have a University Degree and that did nothing for me.  I could retrain for a better job but how do I pay for that?  I can't even get a loan because I don't have a job and my husband barely makes enough to survive on.  Not to mention that if I did go back to school I'd have to move away from my family and leave my kids on their own or drag them with me and attempt to go to school full time and look after them too.

So today I do enjoy some things but the rest of all this crap become overwhelming and is just too much to take.  It ruins a perfectly good day.


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