I can't sleep. I don't even want to go to sleep cause then I'll have to wake up. I love quiet evenings when everyone is in bed and I don't have to do anything. There is something so peaceful about evening when the kids are in bed. I don't want to waste a minute of that time sleeping. But then I think morning will come and I'll have two kids at me and I won't be at my best and the day won't go well. I want the day to go well, really I do.
Mornings are the worst time of day for me. I wake up and every bone in my body hurts. I can barely crawl out of bed. My eyes are puffy and red too. I don't feel like eating in the morning but if I don't I start to feel nauseous. So after hauling my aching body out of bed, washing the sleep out of my eyes, popping my contacts in, and having a shower I try to stuff some food into my unhungry body. I know I must be hungry but I really don't feel like eating in the morning, never have.
Some days the aches and pains become so much that I have to take a motrin and sit down. It just hurts to move. Most days I would like to go back to bed and sleep past noon. That would be my perfect sleep wake cycle, to go to bed at 2am and wake at noon the next day. Yes, I can sleep for 10 hours easily. I'm lucky if I get 8 most nights.
By evening my body doesn't hurt so much and the hunger thing has leveled itself out. I don't want to go to sleep cause then I'll just be waking up in pain all over again and have to hobble around for hours and hours. I don't know why my body hurts so much lately. It could be too much weight, it could be our cruddy bed, it could be something else. I should go have it checked out but I'm positive the Dr. will tell me to lose weight and get some exercise. Like if I could exercise I wouldn't be. When I exercise I end up hurting even worse plus you would think that exercise would perk you up. Not for me after I exercise I feel exhausted and could nap for a couple hours.
I do not want any Dr. to tell my I have fibromyalgia cause there is little they can do to help with that. I don't want to think that for the rest of my life I'll feel like this regardless of whether I buy a new bed or lose weight or get more exercise. I want to think that there is a solution. Call me chicken or call me stupid but if you felt like my body feels every day you'd not want to hear someone tell you that you have an illness that no one knows much about and can't do anything to help cure. I'd rather be in the dark and ignorant for now.
I think I'll go buy stocks in Motrin. Maybe I'll become a millionaire with fybromyalgia.
Mornings are the worst time of day for me. I wake up and every bone in my body hurts. I can barely crawl out of bed. My eyes are puffy and red too. I don't feel like eating in the morning but if I don't I start to feel nauseous. So after hauling my aching body out of bed, washing the sleep out of my eyes, popping my contacts in, and having a shower I try to stuff some food into my unhungry body. I know I must be hungry but I really don't feel like eating in the morning, never have.
Some days the aches and pains become so much that I have to take a motrin and sit down. It just hurts to move. Most days I would like to go back to bed and sleep past noon. That would be my perfect sleep wake cycle, to go to bed at 2am and wake at noon the next day. Yes, I can sleep for 10 hours easily. I'm lucky if I get 8 most nights.
By evening my body doesn't hurt so much and the hunger thing has leveled itself out. I don't want to go to sleep cause then I'll just be waking up in pain all over again and have to hobble around for hours and hours. I don't know why my body hurts so much lately. It could be too much weight, it could be our cruddy bed, it could be something else. I should go have it checked out but I'm positive the Dr. will tell me to lose weight and get some exercise. Like if I could exercise I wouldn't be. When I exercise I end up hurting even worse plus you would think that exercise would perk you up. Not for me after I exercise I feel exhausted and could nap for a couple hours.
I do not want any Dr. to tell my I have fibromyalgia cause there is little they can do to help with that. I don't want to think that for the rest of my life I'll feel like this regardless of whether I buy a new bed or lose weight or get more exercise. I want to think that there is a solution. Call me chicken or call me stupid but if you felt like my body feels every day you'd not want to hear someone tell you that you have an illness that no one knows much about and can't do anything to help cure. I'd rather be in the dark and ignorant for now.
I think I'll go buy stocks in Motrin. Maybe I'll become a millionaire with fybromyalgia.
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